Definitions (silly stuff)

Subtitled: Ho, ho, ho

KilometreThe last metre of the Marathon
KilogrammeThe weight of the straw that broke the camel's back
Killer Whale1,000 whales
Kilowatt1,000 questions
PedometerOfficial Police breath test alcohol measuring device
Millipede0·001 of the alcohol limit unit
Centipede10 millipedes (q.v.)
BarometerLength of the Standard Cockney Market Barrow
CentimetrePerfume strength measuring device; also skunk detector
NanometreStandard Common Market Banana Length
GigameterDevice for measuring the length or quality of dances
TelegramWeight of Standard Common Market TV set
KilostereMedusa's Look
Sent in by a member of the DSGB:
1 billion microphones 1 megaphone
2000 mockingbirds two kilomockingbirds
10 cards 1 decacards
1 millionth of a fish 1 microfiche
1 trillion pins 1 terrapin
10 rations 1 decoration
100 rations 1 C-ration
3 1/3 tridents 1 decadent
2 monograms 1 diagram
8 nickels 2 paradigms
2 wharves 1 paradox